Trying not to throw up.

I'm trying to avoid the ever growing knot in the pit of my stomach. In approximately 38 hours I will start training for my new job. The actual work part is not what's bugging me- I can do any amount of work, any day of the week! It's leaving my sweet little baby girl for any given amount of time that is getting me down. Don't get me wrong- I'm super thankful to have this job and so glad this training is only temporary before I will work from home. But any amount of time I don't get to see her just means someone else is enjoying that sweet smile and deep belly laugh. UGH. I keep telling myself that this will be good for the both of us -to have some time apart- but I'm doing a very good job of convincing myself.

It's okay though. I know God will watch over her when I can't. And I'm so thankful that I've had several offers from so many people (people I TRUST) to help out while I'm training. I know moms work all the time and leave their babies so I do feel blessed that I will be able to work from home.

And on Wednesday I'm only training from 9a to 3p and my mom is coming in town to watch her Wednesday and Friday. But the thought of leaving her for six hours is hard. Sound pathetic? Probably....

But I don't care. She's my little mini-me and counts on me more than anyone. I know what each cry means, what she's trying to communicate with each grunt, what she's pointing at, when she's ready for her nap, what she wants to eat and when she wants it, and that if she's quiet for longer than a minute then you better go check on her to see what she's doing!!!! Someday I'll tell her I'm doing this so mommy and daddy can get a bigger house so she can have a little brother or sister! (I told her that today but she insisted on feeding me a Cheerio in the middle of my sentence, so I don't think she cared much)

It's okay....everything will be fine....keep it together.....she'll be fine....I'll be fine....moms do it all the time....don't cry.....

That's what I keep repeating to myself!!!